well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
