i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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