And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
