chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
