I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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