She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
