i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
