Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
