My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
