Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
