There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
