i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
