So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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