dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
