worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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