wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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