peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
