real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
