Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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