it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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