I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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