did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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