I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
