they need to just BURY HIM!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
