I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
