I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i would punch a child for taco bell
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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