nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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