FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
