I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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