it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
