at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
