Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize