I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
