? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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