All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
