Just fell off a train. Bad.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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