The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
