5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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