please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He did a backflip because drugs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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