yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
