True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
there is puke in my bra ... again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
