White coat. Heels.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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