im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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