I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
