Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
