This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
