5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
