look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
