Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
