Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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