Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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