He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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